In case you missed it, the IPCC broke with tradition on Monday and issued a scary, alarming announcement on climate change:
Global warming is here, human-caused and probably already dangerous — and it’s increasingly likely that the heating trend could be irreversible, a draft of a new international science report says.
If only they’d been saying this over and over again for years! The IPCC’s latest warning is actually a fairly common trick. When I was a kid, I was really into R.L. Stine’s “Goosebumps” books, a series of children’s horror novels (featuring such Pulitzer-worthy titles as “Egg Monsters from Mars“). One of Stine’s tricks was to always end each chapter on a doubtful, slightly scary note: would the scrappy child protagonist be consumed by the Martian Egg Monsters, or would he get away to live a few more pages? Kids fell for the page-turner trick in predictable fashion, a literary device that the IPCC has wielded quite deftly: these boobs are always trying to top their last report by issuing another, more dire set of predictions the next time around. I’m still waiting for the press release that claims, “You’ve Literally Already Burst Into Flames, and You Just Don’t Know It Yet.”
Climate scientists have had to resort to such theatrics because they realize people don’t really care about the faux-threat of whatever they’re currently calling global warming these days. Give them credit, scientists are trying to lecture people about climate change in a fairly new and inventive way, by “talk[ing] about their feelings:“
“It is my belief that we need to fight this battle on a number of fronts,” Duggan said. “So many people are apathetic towards climate change; they’re aware of its existence but they just can’t connect to it.”
“If people can’t connect with the statistics and data, maybe they can connect with someone who understands that data.”
It’s not working. The reason we can’t “connect” to “climate change” is because it’s mostly not that big of a deal, and never has been. The IPCC’s dreaded predictions will fail to materialize, everyone will go on with their lives, and all we’ll be left with are climate scientists talking about how sad they are that people don’t listen to them. In the climate science world, we’re forced to deal with annoying prophecies that never come true and weepy scientists upset that nobody takes these prophecies seriously. We can’t win.